In the new series "How are you doing now" we talk to former patients about the period they started treatment at Castle Craig. They tell about their experiences and how things are going now. The names have been changed, but their stories are real.
Mary (28) in 2011
Maria: “For the first few weeks of my stay at Castle Craig Scotland, I didn't take my recovery seriously at all. They say it's not a vacation to go to an addiction clinic, but I thought of it as an outing at first. Of all the women in that fall of 2011, I was the pacemaker in the castle. Within a few weeks I had already received two official warnings. If I acted like an idiot one more time and ignored all the rules, I would get out of it.
My therapist said to me, “Do realize that later on you will feel unbelievably sorry for throwing the hat at it during your stay. Because when you get out of here, your addiction is stronger and sharper than you. ' But I thought to myself: 'Everyone can tell it so beautifully, I just go my own way.'
One evening I called home at the castle. I got on the phone with my mother, who sounded very sad. While I was in the clinic she was taking care of my little girl and my mom hesitantly and with a sob in her voice told me that my daughter didn't want to come on the phone. 'Why not?' I asked in disbelief. My mother would not tell, it was only when I begged her to give the reason that she spoke the words that I will never forget. She said, "She doesn't want to get on the phone because she doesn't want you to be her mother anymore."
Those words hit like a sledgehammer. I've been lying awake all night and crying. But that morning there was another woman at breakfast. A woman who was done with being in the spotlight and celebrating.
Mary (37) in 2020
Maria: “I will be clean and sober for ten years next fall. In all these years it has not been easy for me. But I was not tempted to numb that pain with partying and drug use. I have seen the lesser periods in my life as a challenge, because there is a solution for everything, I have learned. I still look back with great warmth on that period at Castle Craig in Scotland and later in the Netherlands for the aftercare. Such fine people, such fine care. Learned so much too. My little girl has now become a little, big girl. And what moves me every time is that she tells me everything. I am not only her mother, she says, but also her greatest friend. Yes, my recovery may be the best gift I have ever received. ”