Then and now: Bianca

In the new series "How are you doing now" we talk to former patients about the period they started treatment at Castle Craig. They tell about their experiences and how things are going now. The names have been changed, but their stories are real.

Bianca (22) in 2011

I remember the day before I left for Scotland I had to try on dresses to take with me all day long. Why it took so long? That had to do with the fact that I smoked one joint after another. The reason I went to Castle Craig was because I couldn't quit marijuana and hash. Every weekend I also took Ecstasy and partied until sunrise. It was that I had rich parents and could have anything I wanted, otherwise I would have been in the gutter long ago. It was my father who insisted that I go into rehab. Because there was really no country to sail with me.

After a week at Castle Craig, I still got up an hour earlier than my roommates every morning. Then I took a shower and had plenty of time to do my makeup, because looks were everything to me.

At a good time we had to tell our life story in the castle. I enthusiastically began writing my story and when it was finished, I showed it to a roommate. She was adamant in her comments. "I'd tear this up if I were you," she said. 'In this story you are just not yet glorifying your custom. Go deep inside yourself and just be honest. '

That took a while. That night I couldn't sleep. All kinds of things were running through my mind. The next morning I decided to write another letter. One night when I read it to all my fellow patients and I got to the part where my parents had never been there for me and were just giving me money, I burst into tears. And from that moment on everything was different and I started making friends in Scotland. True friends and girlfriends.

Bianca (31) in 2020

For a number of years I have been working as a nurse specialist in a hospital. I went through the entire Corona process in the IC. That was pretty intense, to use an understatement. But I did it with love.

Thanks to Castle Craig and my recovery, I have found that my greatest happiness comes from helping people. I now do things for others, things that I sometimes wouldn't even do for myself.

Have I stayed clean and sober for the past few years since visiting Castle Craig? No that is not me. Not long after I got back, I started smoking again. But soon I stopped. I felt that what I was doing was not right and it did not bring me any pleasure because of that. Now I can handle life. And when I look in the mirror I don't see the packaging, but a person. A person I am very satisfied with.