For many people with an addiction, it can feel like a big step to sign up for an addiction. After all, you don't know what to expect. Would you like to know more about what to expect? One of our former patients shared his experiences with admission to Castle Craig Netherlands and rehab in Scotland. Read his story below.

Stop using without guidance?

“When I look at myself, it was a decision for me that I only made when I was completely grounded spiritually. With the knowledge that I now have after being clean & sober for almost six years, I should have been admitted immediately the moment I realized I had a drug problem. Unfortunately, at the start of his or her recovery journey, the addict still knows very little about the illness he or she has.

When I decided to stop using and managed to stay clean for the first few weeks, I was in a euphoric mood. I thought, if I can just stay off drugs, I'm going to feel better and better every day. And in the beginning it was. Until I started to feel real again. I didn't know what was happening to me. For thirty years I had been kidding myself, or maybe I should say had my addiction made me believe I was a recreational drug user. I didn't have any blackouts, I didn't lie in the gutter, I didn't drift down the street or ask passers-by if they might have a few dollars in front of me. I was not addicted. At least not in my own eyes.

I was able to function and I felt I was working harder than ever. But very slowly cracks appeared in my existence. I started to alienate myself from my surroundings, I lied about everything that was loose and stuck and started using secretly. If you observe that behavior, then you can take action. But, and this is the insidious part of an addiction, you see and you don't feel it. Precisely because you numb yourself so that you don't have to feel or notice anything.

Admission to addiction clinic

I am not suggesting that the duration of your addiction determines whether you are ripe for inclusion in a drug addiction addiction clinic. But if you are thirty years old drugs used / abused, it is naive to think that you can stop overnight without consequences. For thirty years I had suppressed all my feelings with drugs. As a result, I no longer knew what I was feeling. Was I angry, was I sad, was I anxious? It was as if all my feelings had been put in a blender. And the mix that then came out was simply indigestible.

A addiction clinic is much more than a place where you drug addicts. Of course you are drug-free during the period that you are in the clinic, but what you really learn there is to reconnect with your feelings. What it is like to get out of your isolation and be social again. To really be in touch with the people around you. To recognize your addiction behavior and to do something with it. Looking back now on my stay at Castle Craig in 2013, it really wasn't easy for me there. It's not a vacation. Far from it. But it was the best weeks of my life. ”